Sunday, 28 October 2012

A Roll In The Doggie Do

So it seems shit really does happen and sadly all to frequently to me at the moment! ...hopefully nobody is eating whilst reading this! ...I haven't had a good rant in while, so that is were I'm going to start!

People with dogs who don't pick up the dogs business should be taken outside and shot, in fact no that's a little too quick something a bit slower and more painful would be more suitable! having said that, I'm guessing you can see where this little outburst is going!!

Cartoon by Tony Husband
On Tuesday myself and Kal (one of the other guys from my ward) were 'bussing' it into the town centre with a couple of staff as a bit of wheelchair skills and o.t. type practice and on our way out of the hospital grounds there's a nice little winding path with plenty of leaves on it at present (that's my excuse anyway!) so yep, I managed to roll through some dog crap in my chair! we've all trodden in some dog crap at some stage in our lives and well it's a pretty grim experience of shuffling you feet around for a good while to try and rid yourself of it.....well take that feeling and multiply it by at least 10 (I think I'm being quite conservative there to be honest!) and you'll be getting to where I was, as having rolled over said dog turd, the impact was compounded by the fact I didn't know I had! And what do I use to power my wheels? Yep, my hands....lovely....but even then I hadn't really noticed it as I wear some gloves to help me push, SO having pushed up a bit of an incline my shoulders were a little tired so I had a quick breather and somehow managed to touch my trousers in three different places. It was at this point my misfortune dawned on me and yep there really was shit everywhere! ....all in all beyond grim really!! (p.s. apologies for the language but I feel it necessary!) yep I got back and got sorted out and then at the second time of asking had a nice trip into Southport, aside from a very miserable bus driver on the way there but it's just some people's disposition it seems!

We visited M&S to buy some lunch and it is a little like being a kid in a sweet shop every time I visit a supermarket at the minute as it hasn't happened too often in five months, so deciding exactly what I want takes a while and usually culminates in me buying far too much! There was a nice role reversal too when I dropped something off my lap and I had a 70 odd year old woman bend down and pick it up for me, makes the level of ability all a little too real!

On a much more positive note I've managed to spend a couple of nights off the ward, firstly a night at the Hughes residence one weekend followed by a night at ma and pa's the following weekend. Aside from a few minor issues everything went pretty well really. I think the biggest difficulty was trying to get back off sofas! I tend to forget quite how soft they are, so what looks like being relatively level with my chair, becomes a near vertical ascent after I've sunk into it and turns into quite a workout getting off it! Thankfully with a bit of clever thinking by Jen I just about managed to escape it via a second chair en route to my wheelchair.....oh actually there was another mini drama as we had the fun and games of my first puncture to deal with! The tyre was good enough to wait until we arrived back at Jenna's rather than go while we were out, but it meant an evening of wonky sitting, with the flat side being about an inch lower, there was also a definite tendency to go round in circles too. A quick repair job the following morning had me back on track and going in straight lines thanks to Lynsey and Peter!

And lastly I had my first bash at wheelchair rugby yesterday! I wasn't allowed in the full contact bit just yet but it was pretty full on, a few people tipped out of their chairs after heavy collisions! All were fine I must add....all I did where some of the drills of passing and fitness sort of stuff which I enjoyed and was suitably knackered from, so apologies to everyone I went out to tea with for my persistent yawning!! I'll definitely be giving it another go soon and will hopefully remain in my chair!'s a pretty unflattering picture of me in action!.....

Thanks as ever
Mark x


  1. Lee Cosgrove10/29/2012 9:36 am

    Looking mean in the wheelchair rugby shot there Mark! Good to see you getting to try your hand at some sport, Im sure you will be tearing the match-court up at some point soon. The beard is a nice touch too (fellow beard-brother here as you know).
    Im running in an event called Tough Mudder next month, its a 12mile obstacle course, I haven't got any links with any charities so would love to raise some money for the ReMarkableSWIFT fund if thats ok with you.

  2. There's shit everywhere!!! Name that film...

  3. Hi Mark.
    Sorry not been on this for ages .
    Not a nice story to read while I was enjoying a buttie at work !
    Look after yourself mate
    Graham R

  4. Love the photo in the rugby chair - "It`s MY ball, you can`t have it!". First time I`ve posted, but I do keep the site bookmarked and pop in for a smile now and again :-)

  5. So you played wheelchair rugby and then thought you'd top up all the calories you burned off with a girly pizza with salad in the middle?!?! Even without the rugby, that has never been a good decision!! Was good to see you on Saturday, maybe by next time your folks bathroom will be finished and they'll have started work on something for you?! Take care, keep up all the good work! Love Nolan xxx

  6. Faeces ( another word for Dog Poo ) derives from the latin word " dregs " hence we get the phrase " the dregs of society " I remember when I first joined the Wirral Globe, me and Norman went and bought some joke poo, put it in the mens bogs, poured on some steaming water and waited to see what happened. Sadly it wasnt your dad ( john ) that went in first, it was Aldie Robarts, the owner who rushed out with the immortal words " Jeez Betty, someones crapped in the mens toilets !! ". Good job I could sell and Norman could add up !
    Take it your scored a try judging by the determination on your face, but sounds as though you enjoyed it so me thinks captain within the year. Always great to catch up on the blog, funny, emotional, random, honest. its a credit to you and team swift.
    Keep it going big man and lets do the bold sooner rather than later

  7. Betty the Blog11/01/2012 2:28 pm

    If it’s a competition - I win.

    I remember once slipping on “something” in town, it was many years ago and I was going out, all dickied up and thinking I was the mutt’s nuts.
    I skidded, foot went from under me, then as I went down I put my hand out to save myself ..... right in it and it was a soft wet one....I kept sliding.....and ended up covered in it all down one side. My coat,  my tights, my shoes, my hands, my handbag and even in my long hair... Jesus it was gross. And it bloody stank!
    I'm with you, shooting them is too slow.

  8. Hi Mark,glad to read you news.You seem to be coming along well.I am amazed how positive you remain,and allthough i have never met Jen,she sounds a remarkable person.Watching Liverpool in the winter would,nt keep the blood flowing,so no wonder you feel the cold.Keep up the rugby and aim for RIO.
    Take care love to all from all Alan